


Infirmary Blues

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-07 11:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10359588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: SPOILERS:  NoneSUMMARY:  Jack is stuck in the infirmary





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Infirmary Blues

Don't get me wrong. I've got nothing against the doc personally. Fraiser has pulled our bacon out of the fire more times then I want to remember. I put a lot of faith in her abilities. She's been known to be wrong on occasion, but then so have I. Can't hold that against her. She has a good heart. For a saw bones, she's pretty damn cute, too. It's just at the moment I would be happy to never set eyes on her again.

"Argh! Would you stop that?"

"As soon as I'm done."

"Hurry up already."

"Lay back and shut up."

"Easy for you to say. Ouch!!"

"For crying out loud, Colonel."

"Hey, that's my line."

"There, finished. That wasn't so bad was it?"

"I swear, if you offer me a lollipop, I'm going to . . ."

"You really want that rectal exam, don't you?" she said in that I'm-the-doctor-and-you'd-damn-well-better-listen-to-me tone that set my teeth on edge. She didn't so much as glance my way as she injected something into my IV. 

" . . . "

"Get some rest, Colonel."

"I can rest fine at home."

"But then my nurses would be deprived of the pleasure of your company," Dr. Fraiser gave me a predatory smile as she headed for the door.

"Freaking blood sucking . . ." Muttering under my breath, I tried to get comfortable. It was an impossible task. 

"I heard that. You better hope they didn't. You're scheduled for a sponge bath later this evening, you know." With that warning shot, she left.

Did I mention that the woman has the hearing of a bat? Giving up on trying to squirm into a better position, I decided to settle for less than excruciating. The pain medication began to kick in, taking the edge off. Yeah, that's the stuff. With a sigh, I started to relax. Maybe I could get a few hours sleep before the nurses came in and poked me with more needles, or worse, a dripping sponge. 

"Hey, Jack, up to visitors?" Daniel strolled into the infirmary, followed by Teal'c.

"Where've you guys been?"

"General Hammond wanted us to finish that translation of the tablet from PJ3-346. I think we've about got it licked."

"It has been a most fascinating task."

"I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without Teal'c's help."

"You are welcome, Daniel Jackson."

"Yeah, yeah. Great. That's all fine and dandy. What did you bring me?"

"I was not aware that a gift was required, O'Neill."

"Don't listen to him, Teal'c," Daniel waved a hand towards me in dismissal. "He's bored."

"Damn straight, so entertain me. That's an order."

"Would you be interested in a game of chess, O'Neill?"

"Chess, poker, gin, tiddlywinks. Anything, Teal'c. If I have to stare at these gray walls for two days, I'm going to go bonkers."

"I shall return with a chess set." Teal'c inclined his head in that regal way of his, then left.

"So, what about you?" I asked Daniel as he dragged a chair to my bed.

"What about me?"

"What are you going to do to keep me from going around the bend while I heal?"

"I didn't plan on doing anything to keep you from going around the bend. Actually, I thought I'd sit here and watch. It might be amusing."

"You wound me."

"I think the chieftain on P3S-864 did that."

"Your dry wit puts the Sahara to shame."

"I thought so."

"You could hand me a glass of water." He turned his head, noting the cup and pitcher on the bedside table. I guess he also noted its close proximity, but he decided to be a sport and fetch it for me anyway.

"How long you in for?"

"Fraiser says two days."

"Really? That long for a . . ."

"Yeah," I interrupted before he could spell out exactly what landed me in this damn bed to begin with. It was bad enough the first go around. I didn't want to rehash it. "Says I need to stay off my feet, and she doesn't trust me to keep still at home."

"Imagine that."

"Between you and me, I think it's a power game. She likes to push her weight around."

"Not much weight to push."

"Dynamite comes in small packages."

"Two days isn't that bad. You can catch up on your reading."

"Did you bring me a novel?"

"No, but I have an interesting history of the Gaelic people in my office you might like."

"Doubt it. Got something more . . .entertaining?"

"Sorry, I don't happen to have this month's Playboy stashed under the fiscal reports on my desk, or I'd lend it to you."

"What's taking Teal'c so long?"

"I'm sure he'll be along any minute."

"I hope so. The boredom is seriously getting to me," I shifted the blanket a little to ease its weight off the bandages. I looked over at Daniel. "While we're waiting, I wanted to say thanks."

"For what?"

"For what you did on 346. You know, the bucket of water, the soothing down ruffled feathers and everything."

"It was nothing."

"Nothing, huh? Okay, maybe you're right. It's not like he was going to kill me or anything."

"No, at least I didn't think he was."

"So, it wasn't a big deal after all."

"Right. Well, I mean, it wasn't a big deal. It was a deal, though. You know, a small one."

"That old guy . . ."

"The chieftain," Daniel interjected.

"Only wanted to save face, show his people he was still number one and all that," I said, my voice overlapping his.

"You did sort of make him look bad in front of everyone when you . . ."

"Hey, it wasn't like I intended for it to happen."

"I know. It just happened. You just . . . happened."

"Right. It was an accident. He didn't have to get all hot and bothered over it."

"You thought you were protecting one of your team. It could have happened to anyone, kind of. Just because you misinterpreted his gesture towards Sam as hostile . . ."

"Hostile is right. How the hell was I supposed to know . . ." 

"I was trying to tell you . . ."

"For all I knew he was going to . . ." 

"And that bowl of hot stew was in the wrong place at the wrong time . . ."

"By the way he reacted, you'd think he'd never heard those kind of words before."

"You did manage to insult his integrity, his honor, and his ancestry all in one sentence."

"I was in pain!"

"At least Sam and I managed to calm things down after Teal'c helped you back to the Stargate."

"Whoopie."

"Jack, you know mining Trinium on that planet will be a valuable asset to the SGC, local customs not withstanding."

"I know. It all worked out in the end. Of course, my end is stuck in this damn bed for the next 48 hours."

"You'll get through it. You've got us to keep you company."

"Fraiser scheduled me for a sponge bath, Daniel." 

"You're on your own on that one."

"Thanks for the support."

"Anytime."

"Is this a private party or can anybody join in?" Carter's cheerful voice preceded her into the room. 

"Come on in, Carter. I'm decent, though I can't say the same for Daniel."

Carter walked in, carrying a brown paper bag. With an impish grin, she set it on the edge of the bed. I cocked an eyebrow at her before reaching for it. Hot damn. Godiva chocolates. I showed the bag to Daniel. His eyes lit up when he caught a glimpse of what was inside.

"Thought they'd make your stay a little more pleasant, sir."

"You got that right. Thanks Carter."

"I had to smuggle them in past the duty nurse. They're my way of saying I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For," she gestured vaguely at the blanket carefully draped over me, "everything. I feel responsible."

"Then stop it. It was an accident. Right, Daniel?"

"Right." Daniel pulled his nose out of the bag, blinking up at us over his glasses. "Can I have one?"

"Sure. Carter, you want one?" Daniel was wasting no time in freeing the box from the bag and removing its lid. The rich scent of chocolate filled the air.

"Um, okay." She delicately extracted a single piece from the nest of tissue. Daniel was biting into his with a look of ecstasy on his face that bordered on the obscene. Carter and I shared a grin at his expense before sampling the candies ourselves.

"I'm not going to stay. I'm on my way brief SG-15, but I wanted to drop in first and see how you were getting along."

"Nothing a cold beer and cable TV wouldn't fix."

"That's going to be harder to smuggle in under my jacket."

"I have faith in your ingenuity, Carter."

"I'm glad to see you're doing okay, sir. I'll stop by later."

We waved her off then eagerly turned back to the box of chocolates.

"Where'd Teal'c go for that chess set?" I asked through a mouth full of chocolate cream.

"Probably one of the VIP rooms on the next floor. He'll be back soon. You know how slow that elevator can be some days," Daniel answered as he slowly savored a bite of mocha. My eyelids were beginning to droop.

"Hate being stuck in the infirmary," I murmured as I reached for another chocolate.

"I'm sure it isn't a thrill for the nursing staff either. You are not a model patient."

"There's no control, you know? When we're in the field, all hell may break loose, but there are still options, things I can do to try to salvage the situation, get everyone home again." I gnawed on the candy. "Can't stand all this inactivity. It's enough to drive a man insane."

"You'll be up and about in no time, and I'm sure the general will come up with a mission for you soon where you can run around and shoot things."

I yawned. "That'll give me something to look forward to while they're changing my dressing."

"We'll keep you entertained. After all, we can't have you any more insane than you already are. Don't think I could stand it."

"Humph." I swallowed the rest of the sweet confection. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open. The pain medication coursing through my veins was doing its best to knock me out. I had to blink a few times to bring Daniel's face back into focus.

Lying in bed with an IV drip and a catheter was never going to be high on my list of favorite past times. Still, it beat the hell out of one of my team lying in an infirmary bed. The restlessness and boredom may get to me, but I'd rather suffer through it than sit next to an unconscious Daniel or Carter wondering if there was anything I could have done to prevent it. What was worse was not being allowed in the room with one of them after they returned injured from a mission. Pacing in that gray hall, my imagination running wild, I can only curse silently as the medical staff works to save a member of my team - hell, a member of my family. The lack of control I feel in this bed is nothing compared to the lack of control when one of them is being pieced back together in a sterile room behind closed doors. Each minute that ticks by bites a little deeper, stretching my nerves a little closer to the breaking point, taunting me with the thought that this time they might not be able to put all the pieces back together. The weight of the fear and the blame is crushing. No, being on this side of the bed rails might suck, but it was a long sight better than sitting on the other side, worrying and helpless to fix what's wrong.

"Why don't you try to relax, Jack?"

"Hmm. Yeah. Guess I could rest my eyes for a few minutes."

"I'll stash the chocolates, keep Janet's dainty little fingers out of them."

"Good idea," I tried to say, but the words sounded strangely blurred.

"Go to sleep, Jack."

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"Later, okay?"

"I'll be here when you wake up."

It took some effort to nod. My eyes were too heavy to open and my tongue was too thick to speak. The darkness behind my eyelids was busy drowning out all else. I thought I heard someone come into the room, but I couldn't summon the energy to look.

"Hey, Teal'c. Jack's just dropped off."

"I see. Perhaps he will want to play chess later when he awakens."

"I'm sure the nursing staff would appreciate it if you'd keep him busy and out of their hair. Sam brought some chocolates. Want one?"

Voices murmured in the background, their words lost, but the familiar tones as soothing as a lullaby. Comforted by their presence, I let the darkness take me. I'm going to be cranky and bored for the next couple of days, but I'll be okay. I'll have my family around me. That's all I really need.

**Fin**

  


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> Feedback is welcomed on or off list. Posting a fic after a discussion of the use of correct grammar probably isn't the wisest idea, but since when has Jack worried about his grammar? The has been beta'd, although if any error has slipped through the fault is all mine.

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> September 07, 2001 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-1, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-1 Prodl. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

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